Progress - what is it?

After a post in my guest book regarding progress - I got to thinking how we define "Progress"
This depends if you want to look at...

1. the system or medical version of progress where they test or chart behaviours and educational ability. They apply exersices or advice to follow and then re-asses. Sometimes this can be by teachers at school, doctors, parents or other workers that provide the information on progress. The child will mostly feel they have achieved something, even if not sure what. The only thing we seem certain of every time is - there is not known cure for Aspergers.

2. Personal Progress. This is where the child decides they are able or ready to make the next move towards improvement regardless of outside intervention. this can be educationally, physically, emotionally, socially or other. For the parent this can be tolerance, understanding, copability, acceptance, bonding and more.

I find the personal progress to be far more lasting, rewarding and noticable in a child and parents. System or medical advice can frustrate or confuse parents as much as help, but learning it is important to finding person. . This brings me back to the story of "Terror Tower" and how Matthew progressed very quickly once removed from the "STRESS" of the school environment. I fully understand that this is not an option for everyone.

When in school, Matthew would be switched off for about three hours after school. He would want TV, Gameboy or Computer and would cry if he couldn't. He could only play with others after school for around 15 minutes. I could literally see him struggle to maintain that 15 minutes of social time even on a good day. Within one week of leaving school, he was down to 10 minutes a day of TV or Gameboy. On the Saturday we went out and he left the consol on the coffee table. I asked him why he wasn't taking it and he replied "I don't need it."

I never even dreamed that it had been such a "Need" and instantly realised just how seriously school had affected him. I felt a surge of guilt for the years of school he HAD suffered and I sat an cried.

Now if we have been, or plan to be in a busy environment, Matthew still want's this comfort. Difference is it's not every day. Also within the month after leaving school, I watched his social time with the others - out in the garden - creep up from 15 minutes to over an hour and a half. Also more good days happened and far less moody days. That's what I call progress.

Another personal progress is learning to recognise your own needs and to respond to them. Matthew has learned to refuse sweets and not see it as a punishment, but that to accept them would mean tears and depression if they contain the wrong ingredients.

Most children suffer bouts of Hyper-activity, but he suffers depression quite severly if we don't watch his diet carefully. Shopping has become part of his home education for the reason that one day he will have to become independent. If he hasn't learned good habits for shopping and eating, it could be disasterous to him if he suddenly started buying and eating all the wrong food. This is not something covered in school on a personal level.

Progress is also in your thinking as well as in the child's changes. For me it was progress to get the family to accept that Matthew had a difficulty rather than just thinking him an awkward child. To realise that certain behaviours are signals that he is stressed, not that he is trying to be naughty. To understand why he reacts certain ways, perhaps because of sensory overload or insufficient sensory input etc. This all means that we can avoid or work around things that trigger anxiety and stress. That we can teach him how to recognise the triggers and how, when and why to do certain activities to stimulate the brain in the best way for him. Also when doing them is wasting time. When he needs quiet time and when he needs a boot up the A***. Yes even he needs it occasionally :-D

I hope this helps you to realise that Progress can be in so many forms, that actually it is very easy to find progress on a daily basis and share it with each other. Progress only leads to more confidence. Confidence leads to more progress both for the child and the parent.

Please let me know what you think regarding progress......
Best Wishes
Kay